


Alone Together

by SolitaryPeak



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Feels, Awkwardness, Bisexual Male Character, Brotherly Affection, Childhood Trauma, Coming of Age, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Family Issues, Friendship/Love, Gen, Healing, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Not Beta Read, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Psychological Trauma, Rejection, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Touch-Starved, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26733352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolitaryPeak/pseuds/SolitaryPeak
Summary: Upon his departure from Capital City, Iroh leaves Zuko his aide to help him stay on track. She's remarkably helpful, but reads him too well, forcing Zuko to finally face his fears. On top of that, The Kyoshi Warriors struggle to locate the New Ozai society, while assassins continue to try to infiltrate the palace. Will Zuko embrace Kaori and her help, or will he push her and his friends away and retreat further into his own thoughts? An exploration of Zuko and his trauma, and its projection onto his relationships with others. Takes place about five years after the end of the show. May turn romance eventually, I'm seeing where it takes him.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) & Original Female Character(s), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar)/Original Character(s), Suki & Zuko (Avatar), Suki (Avatar) & Original Character(s), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar) & Original Female Character(s), Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

The fire navy ship loomed over the dock, the rising sun casting a looming shadow over them. It was a fairly chilly morning, the beginnings of autumn biting at the warmth of the summer. Iroh stood before him, waiting.  
“Uncle-”  
“I cannot stay here forever, nephew.”  
“Why not?” Zuko demanded, crossing his arms. “You’re a member of the royal family-”  
“Zuko.” Iroh said, silencing him. “I am not Fire Lord. You are. My place is no longer here in Capital City. You must take what I’ve taught you, and stand on your own, to prove to your nation that you do not need my help. You are ready.”  
Zuko sighed, his shoulders slumping. He didn’t need his uncle to do his job for him or help him… he needed him because… he didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t sleep the night before, he’d stayed up, trying to imagine his life without Uncle beside him. He’d been his only true family, true friend, for as long as he could remember. He had Aang and the others, yes, but they had their own lives, and came and went.  
He was going to be truly alone.  
Iroh pulled him into his arms, and Zuko melted, trying not to remind himself it could be months before another person so much as looked him in the eye, nevermind embraced him.  
“I will always be here for you. Always. Never hesitate to summon me if you need.” Iroh pressed, Zuko’s face in his hands. “I love you.”  
“I love you, too.” Zuko said, tears pricking in the back of his eyes.  
Iroh smiled, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “You are to do great things, my boy.”  
Zuko smiled sadly, and Iroh turned toward the ship.  
“Kaori?”  
Zuko’s eyebrows furrowed. “Your aide?”  
“She’s your aide now. She has been with me since I rejoined the white lotus, and knows much about your role from my ramblings.” he smiled, “She’ll be a great help to you.”  
Zuko looked over his shoulder at the young woman coming down the dock from the ship. His cheeks grew red, looking wide eyed at his uncle. He’d never had an aide! He’d never had friends his own age nevermind a servant that would constantly be by his side! He thought back to his introduction to Aang’s group, cringing. This was something he wasn’t good at.  
“Uncle,” He grit between his teeth.  
Iroh laughed, “You worry too much, my nephew, look at the big picture, hmm?”  
Zuko rolled his eyes.  
“She’s very kind, and knows her way around nobility. Perhaps even better than you.”  
Zuko frowned, and Kaori walked up behind Iroh. Zuko had seen her many times before, but never really paid her much attention, given she was usually around when Iroh was helping Zuko with some stressful situation. She was maybe a year or two older than Zuko, her dark hair well past her shoulders in perfect curls. She wore the travel garb of the royal family’s servants, a small bag on her back. Her dark eyes met Zuko’s and he quickly looked away. He wasn’t used to people doing that since he’d become fire lord and all of his friends had left.  
“Kaori, if you would, I would like for you to stay as Zuko’s aide in my absence.”  
Iroh had always treated his servants as equals, a practice Zuko was trying to enact. But he was raised in a family where the servants were furniture, pets, even, and it was taking a lot of practice for both him and his staff.  
“I’d be honored, General.” She said, her eyes finding his.  
“Wonderful. I think he would be very grateful for your assistance,” Iroh said with a pointed look.  
“Yes, um, thank you, thank you for… agreeing to help me.” He struggled, his ears burning.  
“Be sure to write, both of you.” Iroh said and embraced Kaori, “Don’t be afraid to tell my nephew off, it does him good once in a while. “ he winked, and Kaori laughed.  
“Don’t get in too much trouble without me,” she retorted.  
“No promises.” Iroh replied, looking at Zuko. “Remember what I said. I’m always happy to return.”  
“Yes, uncle.”  
Iroh got onto the ship with the help of a crew member, and the horn sounded. Kaori stood awkwardly before him, and his eyes widened.  
“I… I’ve never had an aide before.” He said, clearing his throat.  
She looked up at him, “I think we should start with your routine, your schedule. Once I understand that it will be easier for me to help you prepare.”  
“Sure, of course,” he said, and began walking back up the hill toward the palace. She walked a few paces behind him, her footsteps nearly silent.  
One thing Zuko was good at, it was being alone. His entire life, even when he wasn’t physically alone, he felt alone. His mother had been the only person to truly understand him, to care about him. Once she’d gone, it had taken quite a while for him to change his mindset to one of a soldier on a battlefield rather than a child with his family. His father made no effort to fill the gap Ursa’s departure had left, Iroh taking the lead instead. But Iroh was grieving and dealing with the consequences of Ba Sing Se, his own mind often occupied. He also wasn’t present for family dinners, and meetings with Zuko and his father. There had been no more buffer. So Zuko retreated into his own thoughts, hiding in his own mind. It’d been easiest that way, but Zuko now realized it had also destroyed his ability to effectively communicate with others. Instead of words, he used violence. Curiosity, sadness, fear… he’d turned them all to rage. His anger was the wall that allowed him to continue to hide in his own mind, comfort in the silence.  
He’d been working to reverse that, putting words to his feelings and communicating them to others. He had a journal that he forced himself to write in when there was no one to talk to, still making himself put words to the feelings. He didn’t want to feel isolated anymore. In fact, he craved some sort of companionship, true companionship, and he couldn’t have that if he was constantly yelling and pushing others away. He was still learning, speaking was hard for him when he’d spent a decade shouting. Especially since the pressures of being an eloquent fire lord had begun to bore into his mind, making him question his every word. And now Uncle was leaving... he’d be putting a lot of miles on his journal.  
They walked through the garden to the private hallway to Zuko’s wing. Two of the kyoshi warriors stood guard there, one of which was Ty Lee.  
“Ty Lee, Roja, this is Kaori. I’m sure you know her from my uncle’s stay, but she’s my aide now and is free to enter and leave any time of the day.”  
They both nodded and welcomed her before holding the door for them. She followed him into the foyer, a large chandelier over their heads before the dual winding staircases.  
He looked at her and she was looking up at it, her eyes sparkling in awe.  
“So, this is my wing. Since you’re my aide, your room will be in here, too.” He said, hoping to please her.  
“Its beautiful,” She said, her expression kind.  
Zuko half smiled and led her up the stairs.  
“My room is here,” he said, pointing to the first door, “My office is just there across the hall, and my bathroom there.” he said, pointing to the door beside his bedroom. “The sitting room is at the very end and is attached to the library. And this…” he said, gesturing to the last door before the sitting room. “Is your room.”  
The room had been empty, serving as a guest room for Sokka, Toph, or Aang and Katara when they visited, but there were more guest rooms on the other side of the wing. This room was made for the aide, sharing a door with Zuko’s office.  
She opened the door, peering inside. It was spacious, having its own bathroom and kitchenette. It was fairly bare as far as decor, but Zuko would fix that.  
“Its been empty, but I’ll be sure to-”  
“Its great, Fire Lord, thank you.” She said and set her bag down on the floor.  
He scratched his neck awkwardly. “Take all the time you need, I’ll be in my office.”  
“I can settle in later. I’ll join you.” She said, shutting the door. He handed her the key to the room, and she followed him into the office.  
He reddened. It wasn’t messy it was… disorganized. His stress was apparent in here, that was for certain. He had a very large mahogany desk before a wall of floor to ceiling windows. On the side the wall was lined with bookshelves, the books pulled out and shoved back in every which way. His desk and the bottom shelf were stacked with paperwork, maps, letters, and orders.  
She whistled in awe, and he reddened. “I haven’t had much time to organize.” He explained, his tone irritable.  
“We’re going to make some,” she said, her voice far off as she fingered through the stack of papers. He frowned, the Fire Lord in him not wanting her to see the confidential paperwork. But he was aware that the more she knew the more she could help him, so he bit his tongue.  
She stopped, sighing. “I’ll have to take a look at this later… what’s on your plate today and tomorrow?”  
Zuko frowned. She sounded like a disappointed mother and he wasn’t pleased. He took a deep breath.  
“I have a governor’s meeting at three, and dinner with General Dao at six.”  
“For what purposes?”  
Zuko sat on the couch. “The governor’s meeting is routine to discuss to unravelling of my demilitarization protocol, and dinner with the general is about foreign aid.”  
Kaori nodded, her dark eyes deep in thought.  
“I would like to sift through your files, with your permission, Fire Lord,” she said, “So I myself can be prepared for the content of the meetings as well.”  
She waited, and he shied away from her gaze. “Sure. I was going to do some of that paperwork…”  
“Here,” she said, standing and gesturing to Zuko’s chair. She grabbed a stack of paperwork and sat on the couch. He rose, returning to his desk, and she split the pile, giving him the top half.  
He frowned and she began sifting through her half of the stack. He completed some of his paperwork, but was distracted by her presence. Was she judging him? She had to be. He was young, inexperienced, and it showed. He looked like a fool. He reddened. Why would Uncle do this to him? He wanted him to learn to stand on his own, and yet he forced him to show his hand to this woman he barely knew. He groaned and she looked up at him for a moment before returning to her stack. She began sorting the paperwork into piles, asking an occasional question. A half hour before Zuko’s first meeting, she presented the piles to him.  
“This folder is for you to review in order of urgency.” She said and set it down on the desk. “This is for you to sign and pass in order of urgency. This one is what other governors and government officials have signed for your reference. All of these are separated by date and topic. Your to do folders have the dates on them as well.”  
He looked up at her. “Thank you.” He said quietly.  
“I’ve set aside the materials for your meetings today that I felt were relevant.”  
He nodded, rising. “Thank you, Kaori.”  
“Of course.” She said with a half smile.  
She grabbed the file for the meetings, and followed him from the office.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Kaori have lunch, and Zuko's office is broken into

Zuko pulled up his chair at the table, adjusting his robe. Th weather was perfect; the sky clear and a gentle breeze keeping the air fresh and welcoming in the garden. That was why he had chosen to have lunch in the garden in place of the stuffy dining room. He waited, watching the servants put out the two place settings, diverting their gazes from his. He cleared his throat, trying to get himself in the mindset he needed for the rest of the day. Kaori was to meet him to go over plans. He tapped his hands on his tea cup, gritting his teeth. Where was the food? He wanted it here when she arrived, all laid out and ready.  
He heard footsteps and he turned to look. She walked up the path toward him, wearing a far more formal outfit on than the day prior. Her curls were pulled up in an elaborate braid, two braids looping around her ear and back around.   
She stood beside him, bending beside his seat to hand him a file. "Good afternoon Fire Lord Zuko." She murmured. "I've gone ahead and-'  
"Have a seat." Zuko said, gesturing to the table.   
Her eyebrow rose. "Your majesty?"  
"Have a seat. Lunch will be arriving shortly."  
"Sir I-"  
"Please. If we're to be together so much... I'd... like to at least have it be pleasant," He stumbled.  
She pursed her lips and sat beside him, pouring herself a glass of juice.   
She tinkered with her folder, and he looked around awkwardly. "So, how did you end up working for my uncle?" He asked.   
She looked up at him. "He saved my brother, at the final battle at Ba Sing Se. Since I lived in Yu Dao and was Fire Nation, he figured I could help him navigate the red tape of the White Lotus."  
He nodded. What happened to her brother? Why was she in Yu dao? He had so many questions… but withheld.   
He nodded. "Thank you... For all your help yesterday."  
She sipped her juice. "Of course. It's my job, your highness."   
He sighed. "You don't have to call me that." He regret the hint of irritation in his voice.   
She looked up at him. "Are you certain?"   
"Yes. Just call me Zuko. Please."  
She bobbed her head, "Alright, Zuko." She smiled.  
He looked down into his tea.  
"How was your morning?" She asked.  
He looked away, "um... fairly uneventful. My meeting with the fire sages went well. I followed your agenda."  
"Wonderful." She said with a half smile.   
"How was yours?"  
"I met with Suki to discuss your security detail and their rotations, and I organized your office."  
His eyes widened. "You did?"   
She nodded, clearly pleased with herself. "Entirely."  
He smiled, "I'm already not paying you enough."  
She laughed, pouring herself a cup of tea. "Lunch is plenty."  
He watched her, his smile growing, "You're welcome to join me for all of my meals," he said stuttering, "that is… if you'd like... of course."  
"Thank you." She smiled graciously.   
He returned to his office. She'd organized everything, from the books, the paperwork, even the artwork. He was able to complete his paperwork faster with the help of her filing system and helpful notes, making it easier for him to navigate the sea of references, footnotes, and citations.   
“Lord Zuko, you cleaned up.”  
Zuko spun around to see Suki standing before him, leaned in the doorframe.  
“Suki,” he greeted, a small smile finding his lips, “Kaori did this. Doesn’t it look nice?”  
She smiled and bobbed her head, entering the office.  
“It looks great.”   
He sat in his chair, more than a little pleased with his new work space. It’d been steeped in his father; every book, every file reminded him of Ozai, of the way he worked and Zuko’s younger days spent sitting in the floor in his office, ordered to play silently. Kaori had broken that, tearing down the strange fog that separated Zuko and the tools at his fingertips, all stored neatly in the shelves. 

That was what he did until dinner time, easily moving each from his to do pile to his done pile. Work that had haunted him for weeks was finally finished, signed and packaged to be delivered to the necessary authority. He even managed to find a book he’d been searching for when he first became fire lord, excited to finally be able to navigate his resources.   
Once the sun began to fall behind the horizon Suki walked Zuko down to the dining room. He'd told the kitchen staff that Kaori would be joining him for most meals, and her setting beside his own made him smile. He hated sitting at the head of the table, eating entirely alone.   
"I'll be going, fire lord. I'll be back to retrieve you."  
"Yes." Zuko said quietly, sitting at the table. He waited, having the servants bring him only his drink. She didn't show, however, even after a few glasses of wine, and he finally allowed them to serve him his dinner. Her setting mocked him, the empty glass glimmering in the light of the chandelier. He thought back to the time the table had been full- Aang, Katara, Toph, Sokka, Iroh, even Hakoda had joined them, laughing and smiling. Now the chairs sat empty, collecting dust.

He went to bed early, his mind whirring. The palace was empty, his family was gone, not that any of them cared about him to begin with. Iroh had gotten tired of him, as did Aang and the others. He'd once heard Toph call him tolerable in small quantities, and although she was kidding, it had stuck.   
It seemed to be true.   
They all cared, but only enough to be able to leave him whenever they needed a break from him. He groaned, tossing his hair piece on the ground. He was a fool for thinking someone would want to spend time with him. Even Mai had grown tired of him, returning to her family once and for all. Why couldn't he get people to like him? It was a childish thought, but one that stuck with him. The only people that would spend time with him were those that had to. 

He tossed and turned that night, the words of his father, Azula, and his friends haunting him. He was irritating, abrasive, and difficult to look at. That part he knew. He'd seen the looks he got, eyes that lingered just a little too long on his face. It was a constant reminder to everyone, not just himself, of his father's lack of care for him. Was his life just meant to be paperwork and public appearances? Never having a family of his own, a life?  
He groaned, nearly a whimper, and got up. He couldn’t take any more of the silence. He walked by Kaori’s room to the sitting room. The floor to ceiling windows let in the light of the moon and stars, twinkling happily. He lit a lantern, ensuring it was entirely closed before making his way over to the book shelf, combing through the books. He found his favorite from just before he’d been banished, a story of a prince and a princess that ran off together to a mysterious island. He carried it over to the couch, his mother’s voice in his mind, reading gently through the chapters each night before bed.

"Zuko."  
Kaori was sitting before him, her dark eyes searching his face.   
He rubbed his eyes, the shining light making his left eye water horribly. He was on the couch, the book on the floor beside him. "What time is it?"  
"Seven. You have a meeting in an hour."  
"Ugh." She stood, and he sat up, his head spinning.   
"How late were you up?" She asked.  
"Late." He frowned. He figured if she was going to live with him she'd be learning about his insomnia, but he was hoping it wouldn't be so soon.  
"You can always wake me, you know." She said, and he pressed his hands over his eyes. His head was pounding.  
"Come, we have to get you ready."  
He nodded, and she followed him into the hall. "Do you want my help?"  
Zuko knew the chambermaids had gone, and his head was pounding… but his room? It felt so… personal.  
"It's alright I'll wait here for you." She said, standing next to Suki in the hall.  
"No, I'd like your help. Thank you." She followed him into his room and he ran into the closet, pulling the typical crimson robe on. When he emerged, she helped him into the second, which required tying from behind. Over that would be his gold epaulet, which was also attached behind. Kaori secured the small metal hooks, her fingers brushing his neck sending a shiver down his spine. His head was pounding, and his eyes were shut,his hand over his face.   
"Sit." She said and he did, sitting before the mirror in his closet.  
A servant popped in and spoke briefly to Kaori, before shuffling out. His eyes flew open at the feeling of her hands in his hair, and his face turned a horrific crimson. No one had really ever touched his hair. Her touch was remarkably gentle, the brush of her fingers gathering hair along the side of his head strangely soothing. She ran the brush through his hair with expert hands.   
"Drink your tea, it'll help your head." She murmured.   
He looked at the tea on the vanity. The servant must have brought it. "How'd you know?"  
She smiled, "I never used to be a great sleeper myself. Now it comes and goes."   
He stared at her in the mirror and caught a glimpse of himself, looking away. She ran the brush gently through his hair again and he closed his eyes. She pulled the top half of it up in a knot, and paused.  
"Where's your hairpiece?"  
He looked away. "On the floor."   
Her eyebrow rose, and she retrieved it. "Clearly you were upset last night?"  
He frowned. "not that it's your business." He cringed. He didn't want to push her away.  
She didn't blink. "It is, because now I'm dressing you, aren't I? Your business is my business, Lord Zuko," she said with a bite.  
He rolled his eyes and stood. "Thanks." He murmured, and stalked out the door Suki and Kaori close behind. 

"What I don't understand, your highness, is why you think that the outlying villages would simply fold to having their local governments uprooted and replaced."  
The man had been hammering zuko for over an hour, and his headache raged. He sipped his tea, trying to reformulate his previous statement to get through to the man. The local governors and generals didn’t see the larger need for local reformation to demilitarize the Fire Nation, and Zuko’s already limited patience was growing thin.  
"If I may, my Lord?" Kaori chirped from behind him. He nodded, his eyes wide.  
She cleared her throat, opening her folder. "In a survey done by the fire lord's office, less than a quarter of the residents of the seven outlying villages disagree with the proposed plan. Of that quarter, half still support reform from the new administration."  
The general stared at her.  
Zuko smiled confidently, and the general withered.  
“The people have spoken, General, its simply leadership and clarity that’s needed in order to guide our people into the new era of peace.”   
The meeting ended shortly after, the remaining generals and governors folding to the data provided. On their walk back to their wing, Zuko was beaming.  
“That was incredible.”  
She smiled, “It was your data, I simply pulled it from your files to back your statements. It was your idea to survey the people.”  
He smiled again, his headache still raging, but less so. The tea she’d brought was remarkable at lessening the pressure behind his eye. They rounded the corner, and Zuko’s joy died quickly. The kyoshi warriors were outside his office.  
"Lord Zuko." Suki said, jogging over to them.   
"What happened?"  
"Your window, someone broke it while you were out and took a few books off your shelf-"  
He raced into his room, eyes wide. The books on the first shelf had fallen in the center, and he bent to look.  
"Your father's books." Kaori said quietly.  
Zuko stiffened. His father had written those books by hand. Who would have taken them?   
"We'd like for you to stay out of here while the window is repairs and the other warriors and I investigate," Suki said quietly.  
"Thank you." Zuko said, looking to Kaori. She too looked nervous. What would someone want with Ozai’s books? Azulon’s journal?  
"Why don't we go have some tea?" Kaori suggested.  
The other kyoshi warriors we're watching expectantly.   
"Sure."  
Kaori followed him down to the kitchen where he had the servants bring them tea and fruit. They also handed Kaori a letter, the handwriting on the front a sloppy yet elegant script.   
She ignored it, and Zuko tried to read it while still focusing on his tea cup.   
"I don't understand why they'd go for my father and my grandfather's books. With what was in those drawers…" he sighed.  
"It's probably some crazy fanatic of your father's. The kyoshi warriors are on top of it. They'll figure out why."  
He looked into his tea.   
"Have you read them?" She asked.  
Zuko looked up. "Yes. Several times when I first became Fire Lord."  
"What was in it?"  
Zuko shook his head. "Nothing personal. Mainly his own thoughts on political topics." She hummed, blowing on her tea.  
“We’ll figure it out, Zuko.”  
He nodded, but worry tugged at his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time- Zuko visits a village and has an interesting conversation with its leader.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko gets out of his own head... but not intentionally

“Are you sure you have everything?”  
Zuko nodded, tossing his mother’s book into his final bag. They’d be spending the next two weeks in the town of Hairo. There lived the fire nation’s largest military base, and Zuko would be meeting with government officials there as the base reeled in its power.   
Kaori’s bag was on her back, her hair up in a high knot.  
“Is Iroh meeting us there?”  
Zuko shrugged. They’d invited his uncle, but he wasn’t entirely sure if he would show. They walked out to the ship, the crew quickly briefing them on what the schedule was, and they were gone. Suki was below deck talking to the crew, as Kaori and Zuko sat on the far side of the bow, watching the birds overhead.  
Kaori was combing through her folder, her robes billowing in the strong winds. A letter flying from the folder onto the deck. Zuko picked it up, and Kaori watched him, taking the letter from his hand. It was the same handwriting as the previous letter she’d gotten, addressed to her from a Jozen in Yu Dao.   
“Thanks,” she murmured, shoving it in her pocket.   
He looked away, unsure of himself. If he asked he didn't want it to come off as a command…   
It was inappropriate for him to ask her about her personal life. He was the Fire Lord, anything he said or did would come off as a command. He didn’t want her to feel that way. He remained silent, and at some point she’d risen and joined the Kyoshi warriors.  
It was a shorter distance, and they arrived just before dinner. The servants got their bags off the ship and his guard walked just behind him, the kyoshi warriors in front. Kaori was just behind him, her presence comforting. Even if she didn't want to be, she was his ally. In a government full of angry, opposing forces, she was his ally. He clenched his jaw. How pathetic, a Fire Lord leaning on a reluctant servant as his only ally.   
Governor Melen met them at the dock, his own guards and officials in tow.  
She followed closely behind him, keeping her eyes forward. 

They rode straight to the guest house, the servants bringing in their bags.   
Kaori made her way to what was to be her room, stepping aside to allow the servants to set down her things. It was beautiful, as always, and she put down her bag. Beautiful, but quiet. The servants shut the door behind her, leaving her in silence. She thought back to the time she and Iroh had gone to see the fire sages. Hed burst into her room, smiling.  
"It's too quiet here. I vote we have a sleepover."  
They'd dragged their blankets into the ridiculously oversized living room and roasted sausages over the fireplace for dinner and made tea, running through stories and their and for the following day before turning in. Zuko would never think of such a thing, nor would he participate. He was overly concerned about appearances, and she knew it was because of Ozai and Azula. She'd heard and seen enough of them to understand that. Iroh had told her quite a bit as well, about Ozai and Azula’s abuse, and she saw it in Zuko now. He didn't take a single step confidently. Others couldn't tell; his anger and mean demeanor threatened others, bit it wasn't covering confidence, it was covering fear. She understood. He was young, and his father had left him a house of cards that he’d convinced Zuko he'd only ever knock down.  
She returned to the living room where Zuko was returning from his suite as well.  
"Is your room ok?"   
She nodded, "it's great, thank you."  
He shifted, "I have to go meet with the governor, I'll see you later tonight?"  
Her heart sank. Alone again. "Absolutely. Enjoy yourself."  
He nodded and swept from the room, guards in tow.   
"Kaori."   
Suki waved her toward the other kyoshi warriors at the dining table, and she sat down. They talked and laughed, Kaori opening her letter from Jozen.

“Kaori,  
Mother and Father are doing fine, I’m hoping that soon they will be able to return to Capital City. They love Yu Dao but miss home, as I do. I’m doing fine as well, so quit worrying. I got a job as a postman and have been able to meet a lot of people in our neighborhood. I love the camaraderie that has come out of the city since their inauguration as an official city.  
Give the fire lord some time to warm up to you. I know nothing about the man and I know he’s probably hesitant to trust anyone, given his father. Try not to lose your patience on him.  
I miss you.  
Jozen”

Kaori folded the letter and shoved it in the pocket of her robes, eating her noodles. The other kyoshi warriors were chatting about something that had happened in training, and Suki looked up at her.  
“How are things going with you and Zuko?”  
She shrugged. She couldn’t say anything negative about him here. “We’re still getting to know the ropes of whatever this relationship is.”  
Suki smiled, “he’s a stick in the mud at times, but once his wall comes down with you he’ll be… slightly less abrasive.”  
Ty Lee laughed, “he’s always been that way, ever since we were small, but he’s been getting better now that Ozai and Azula are out of his head.”  
She bobbed her head, “thanks for letting me spend time with you guys.”  
Suki smiled, “We know it gets lonely up there, you’re always welcome to join us.”  
After dinner Kaori head upstairs to ready for bed. It was getting late, the lamps lit. She heard movement outside and opened the door. The guards had each of Zuko’s arms, Zuko staggering.

Zuko looked up, Kaori approaching him.  
"Kaori!" He smiled.   
"Zuko, I've been waiting for you."  
"Really?" He asked, and she took his arm from the guard. Suki ran over from her guard post outside Zuko’s bedchamber, helping her.   
"Of course. I was worried something has happened."  
Zuko looked over at her. " You weren't worried about me, you, you don't care about me, just as much as… no one cares about me. How, how can someone love someone like me? I mean, have you seen me? I'm so… I'm so annoying. I'm, I'm weird." He half laughed, half whimpered. "That's why I'm alone everyday! I'm alone! All the time. Mai left me, Uncle left me, Aang and the others have their lives. I- I'm cursed to be alone."   
Kaori looked at Suki, who watched Zuko’s face sadly.  
"Zuko." Kaori murmured, and sighed. "Let's get you to bed."  
He wiped a rogue tear on his cheek, letting her lead him back to his room. Suki grabbed Zuko’s other arm and they walked to the bedchamber. Kaori pushed open the door, Suki strongarming Zuko to stand before the very large bed. Kaori nodded and pulled his top robe over his head. "I'm going to let you do the rest, I know sober Zuko would be mortified," she said quietly. "But everyone cares about you. Don't think that." He stared at her, drunk tears in his bloodshot eyes "we'll chat tomorrow, ok?"  
He nodded, and she left.  
What had that been about? She’d thought he might feel that way, but he’d never given her any indication that it bothered him so. She felt guilty for complaining about him, and Suki touched her shoulder.   
“He’s fine, I think it’ll do him good to hear you address his concerns tomorrow.”  
Kaori bobbed her head, “Thank, Suki.”  
She smiled, and Kaori returned to her own bedchamber. Zuko felt alone. So did she.   
There had to be ways to fix it.

In the morning, Kaori dressed in her off duty robes, as she did on Saturdays, and went out into the garden for breakfast. Zuko was sitting out there alone, drinking his tea and reading a report from one of the governor’s assistants about the bay. She took a deep breath and walked over, sitting. How much did he remember?  
"Good morning." She greeted.  
"Good morning," he said quietly. He didn’t meet her gaze, his cheeks red.  
She poured herself a cup of tea, taking one of the pastries from the top. She could see in her peripheral vision that he was no longer reading, watching her instead. She pretended she didn’t notice, and Zuko sputtered "Kaori, I'm so, so sorry."  
She looked over. "Its alright, Zuko. Why didn't you talk to me about that stuff? I'm quite literally always around, you don't have to talk to me strictly about work, you know."  
"I'm sorry, I didn't think… I was embarrassed. Its, I’m… It’s ridiculous." He said quickly, his face red.  
"You don't have to be embarrassed. I'm with you all the time, were going to be vulnerable in front of one another. You don't have to put on a show for me, I want to help you."  
He hung his head. "I'm so sorry."  
She sighed. "Don't be sorry. Your uncle… I know you’re so very close, but I’m here.”  
He nodded. "I've just felt so lonely since he left."  
"Iroh is amazing. I've missed him too." She smiled.  
He smiled in return, and she touched his hand. "Zuko, I'm here for you. For work, to talk, even just to sit together. I'm alone here, too."  
He cocked his head, his eyes widened. He clearly didn't think of that. "You don't have to feel alone. I’m sorry I kept you in the dark."  
"I do care about you, you know. I want you to be happy and to succeed."   
Zuko blushed. “I’m not good at… people. Military yes, friends… not so much. Its what chased Mai away.”  
"Stop worrying about what I’m thinking or anyone else is thinking. Just be Zuko, there’s no right or wrong way to do something if you’re just being you. If you want to know something, just ask, say whatever, do whatever."  
“I just feel so watched all the time.” He said, glancing over at the guard. “Meetings, appearances, rumors, they make me second guess myself.”  
She nodded. “I can understand that. But you can be you when you’re not in meetings or doing appearances.”   
He nodded, and she laughed. "Don't be so dramatic Zuko, I don't bite."  
He smirked and she squeezed his arm. 

They went their separate ways for lunch and rejoined for dinner. Zuko went out and purchased fire lilies, knocking on her door. She answered, an eyebrow raised.   
"I got you these, uhh, to say sorry, and thank you."  
She smiled, taking the lilies.  
"Thank you, Zuko."   
He reddened, "would you care to have dinner with me this evening?"   
"I'd love to."  
She walked down to the dining room with him. Her place was set, and she sat beside him. He still felt foolish. He'd guilted her into dinner with him. She'd been enjoying the kyoshi warriors presence the last few nights, and her boss made her spend even more of her time with him. How pathetic. His father's voice echoed in his head.   
"Kaori, know that you don't have to-"  
She slapped his arm playfully. "Zuko if I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be. Stop worrying." Her tone was kind.  
He pursed his lips, and the servants brought out their appetizers. The servants looked pleased, and Zuko frowned. How dare they pity him.  
“How did you get so drunk last night?”  
Zuko rolled his eyes, remembering.

The governor had lead Zuko and the guard through the foyer to the dining room, his other guard remaining outside.  
“Welcome, my lord,” he’d greeted. It was just to be the two of them, apparently, despite Zuko insisting his family join them. He remembered the food, and the bottles of wine, but little more. He’d kept asking Zuko about why they were reeling in the military base, and how it was a bad idea. Zuko had gotten frustrated with the cyclical nature of their conversation and told the guard to bring him home.   
“The governor wanted me to spill some sort of secret about the base, about why I was doing it. When that didn’t work he told me it was a bad idea to downsize and tried to convince me. I didn’t even realize how much I’d had to drink, he just kept filling the glass.”  
Kaori frowned, “clearly he’s no happy with why we’re here. When do you see him again?”  
“Monday,” he said, “I’m going to confront him about dinner.” He said, a hint of question in his voice.  
“Good,” she smiled, “maybe he’ll get that you’re not asking him, you’re telling him.”  
Zuko half smiled. Maybe he didn’t have to be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Next time: Zuko and Kaori have lunch. Thanks so much for reading please review.


End file.
